1 Year Anniversary: Musing on My Life and Living

On January 16th, I celebrated my one year anniversary living in Ecuador.  To mark this important occasion, I decided to give a little "State of My Own Union" Address, giving you a behind the scenes glimpse into the daily ups and downs of this crazy journey. 

You can never cross the ocean, if you're too scared to leave the shore. 

- Miley Ponti

My State of Service
I spend my mornings from 7am - 1pm at my K-12 school, assisting teachers with their English classes.  Sometimes I lead a pronunciation activity, model a lesson, or teach the whole class.  Sometimes, I just help the students.  I teach mostly 2nd - 5th grades and Juniors and Seniors in High School, as well as a Friday afternoon English Club for the International Baccalaureate Students.  Through it all, I've discovered that I'm not a very good "English" teacher.  I depend upon the Internet a lot to help me understand modals, the perfect tenses and the reason why intransitive verbs can't be used with the passive voice.  I don't remember ever learning all of this grammar in my schooling days, so I often leave the grammar explanations to the teachers and just try to design the fun practice parts of the lesson.  The culture of Ecuadorian schools is really different than what we're used to in the States.  Sometimes classes happen.  Sometimes they don't.  Sometimes teachers work with me to plan an activity for their class, mostly they don't.  Somedays I feel useful.  Somedays I don't.  Sometimes, I find it all incredibly frustrating, and sometimes I can roll with it and laugh.  But I do walk across campus to hugs, waves and "Good Mornings" from students and teachers alike.  The kids and I have developed secret handshakes and we play frisbee or do the Hokey Pokey at recess.  In this culture of warm and welcoming greetings, I often feel a little famous.  It's fun being one of only two Gringitas at the school. 

Sometimes, in the afternoons or evenings, I teach at the local university, which is really fun for me.  Once a week, I guest teach in a remedial English Class.  These are college students who are required to pass a basic English class before they can graduate in their own majors such as graphic design, nursing and agricultural engineering.  It's fun to hang out with these students and sometimes we all go out for pizza after class.  I've also ingratiated myself with the University's Teacher Training Program and have been teaching and coaching pre-service teachers in lesson planning and how to integrate more activities into their future classes.  Being a coach and a cheerleader for these young teachers has been incredibly rewarding for me.

The meaning of life is to find your gift.  The purpose of life is to give it away. 

- Pablo Picasso

My State of Being
It's true, as a Peace Corps Volunteer, you have a lot of time on your hands.  In typical Becky fashion, I always find something to keep me busy.  I'm using the time to learn new things, and grow as a person.  I study my Spanish, take a weekly Spanish Class from Leticia, who has become a dear friend, and spend time with another friend, Mery, who is wiling to exchange Spanish lessons for English.  I have also been taking weekly classes in Salsa Dancing, and Pottery.  I'm up by 5am most mornings for a little yoga and positive breathing.  If I have any free time, I go on an adventure, take long walks through town (sometimes listening to my Spanish Podcasts), explore the market, or sit in the beautiful plazas while studying and watching the world go by.  I try to get to know everyone I meet, and say "yes" to every event to which I'm invited.  I'm trying to experience it all.  Admittedly, this year has gone so fast, and my surroundings are so normal to me now, I can't quite imagine anything different.

When you're in a dark place, you sometimes tend to think you've been buried.  

Perhaps you've been planted.  

Bloom.

My State of Health
It's been a tough year on my body: one broken rib, two sprained ankles, some skin fungus, an eye infection and a short mysterious episode of "the double dragon", after eating something that didn't agree with my stomach.  It's becoming apparent that now that I live with kids, I'm going to get colds a lot more often too. 

At some point you just have to let go of what you thought should happen 
and live in what is happening.

My State of Family
Margarita, Jose, Alex and Pablito are definitely the best part of my service.  I love the easiness of their house, the joy in their days and the energy they have for life.  Most mornings, I help cook breakfast for them, before Jose drives us to school.  When I can,  I return to eat a hearty lunch with Margarita and the kids.  She's inevitably got an amazing soup simmering on the stove, and a new way to fashion chicken and rice.  When we go to the market, she's always picking up items and asking me if I have tried it.  When I say no, it's invariably in our lunch the next week.  I'm learning so much from her and have started to write down her recipes, too.  In the afternoon, while Pablo does his homework, and Margarita is cleaning or sewing her crafts, I write, plan my classes or study.  You also may find me on the roof hanging or folding laundry in the sunshine, and marveling at the incredible view.  Then, late in the evening, we gather at the table to laugh and share a little dinner.  Sometimes its leftovers from lunch.  Sometimes I cook.  I've introduced them to tacos, quiche, pancakes, homemade pizza, and a host of other vegetables that you can just steam and eat.  They think that's amazing and they're always surprised how much they like them.  I also made a lasagna for Alex for his birthday and they all loved that!  On weekends, you'll find us racing from football game, to football game, and grabbing a snack or ice cream in between.  Sometimes we work with the concrete block business, sometimes there's other events to attend.  And if nothing is planned for the day, Margarita might pack a picnic lunch and we head to the mountains.  Although every day is different, they're all a little wacky.  Here is an example of one Saturday: 

One afternoon I overheard Margarita talking on the phone.  I usually don’t understand much of what she says because she talks so fast, but on this day, I clearly heard “Becky is a good baker, she can make the cakes.”  Ummm… Margarita?  What am I going to do?  

After finishing her conversation, she explained that Jose’s Dad, Victor, is having a birthday this weekend and they needed some cakes for the celebration.  There was going to be about 26 people.  We agreed on a vanilla and an orange cake with white frostings.  I was honored to be tasked with this job.  I was told the party started at 5:30pm.   

On the following Saturday, I started baking early because I had understood that the oven needed to be used in the afternoon for cooking a turkey.  It ended up that I burnt one of the cakes, so I had to make three cakes- all before noon.  Then I waited to help prepare the rest of the meal.  No turkey.  Margarita did start the gas grill outside and cook some rice in a 20 gallon pot.  (They don’t mess around, they love their rice!)  When I asked about the turkey, she explained that she had given the turkey to someone else to cook in their oven, and all that we were responsible for was the cakes, the rice and the wine.  And we needed to leave at 5:00pm.  

Excellent.  I’m very excited that I fully understand the plan. 

At 4:00 Jose leaves with Pablo in the truck for a soccer game.  

At 5:00, Margarita says “Vamos!”  But we leave the cakes, the rice and the wine behind.   Where are we going, I ask? 

Margarita explains that we need to go the store to get some mushrooms.  

Why?  

We need mushrooms for the sauce for the turkey.  

So, we’re going to a grocery store now?  Without the car?  That will take over an hour and a half by bus to get there and back.  Doesn’t the party start at 5:30?

Yes, she agreed, that was a problem.  But we need to get the mushrooms.  

So, Margarita and I and Alex walk out to the main road to catch the bus, but we get on a bus going the opposite direction from town.  Ok, now I’m really confused!  

Where are we going, now?  

She explains that we’re going to pick up Jose and Pablo at the soccer game so that we can have the truck. 

15 minutes later, we get to the soccer fields in the small pueblo of Esperanza.  We find Jose, who is just finishing his game, and the 5 of us pile in the truck.  

Before we get too far, I want to confirm our plans, so I say, Where are we going now? 

We have to go to a soccer game.  

Another soccer game? Really? 

Yes, we have to win a borega (a sheep)!  

What about the mushrooms? 

We can get the mushrooms later, Jose explained.  But if I play in this soccer game, and we win, we win a sheep!  

“Vamos”, I say.  "Let’s win a borega!"

So we drive way, way out into the deep foothills aglow in the setting sun, to watch another football game.  This day, January 6, also happened to be a holiday, the Festival of the Kings, and is celebrated as the last day of Navidad.  When we get to the soccer field, there is a huge stage, a very loud band and a large crowd of people ready to use the space as a dance floor.  But first, the match for the borega!  As the game went along, the cold and fog closed in on the players, and the band tuned their instruments.  It was a great game and the crowd really got into it.  It ended with a tie and kick off, which our team eventually lost.  

No borega for us?

No. Vamos.  

Where are we going now? 

To get the mushrooms, ofcourse!

So, we went to the store for the mushrooms, retrieved the cakes, the rice and the wine from the house, stopped by the neighbors to load the turkey and their family in the back of the truck, and then we drove to the party.  8:30pm.  

And we were the first people to arrive!

The turkey and the mushroom sauce was some of the best I’ve ever had.  They loved the cakes too.  As the night went on, all 26 of us were crowded in this concrete block kitchen, eating off our laps and trying to stay warm.  Then it was decided that a fire needed to be built.  So the chairs were pushed back, and some corn stalks and scrap wood were brought in.  Right in the middle of the concrete kitchen floor, they started a bonfire.  As we sat in the smoke, laughing, retelling the story about my confusion, and sipping on our Coke and Sprite, I reveled in the moment and gave thanks for being a part of this wonderfully crazy family. 

"Life and this world are so full of both beauty and pain, no matter where we are....  (the work is in) navigating that liminal space between the two, and allowing our hearts to break open to experience both grief and beauty." 

- Lyssa Tall Anolik

My State of Mind
I still spend way too much brain energy in grief.  I love my adventures, and all that I'm learning, but the ever present grief oozes in through my pores.  It's a constant.  I take pictures for my mom, and then remember I can't send them to her.  I hear my dad's voice in my head and I miss him terribly.  And I still analyze and reanalyze the details of the last years of my marriage.  The reality is that I lost my friend and I'm still deeply wounded by the manner of his departure.  And then I remind myself where I'm at, and with each day it's becoming more clear that this adventure is much more fun without him. 

Grief, I've learned, is really just love.  
It's all the love you want to give, but cannot.  
All that unspent love gathers up in the corners of your eyes, 
the lump in your throat, 
and in the hollow part of your chest. 
Grief is just love with no place to go. 



But you can't start the next chapter if you keep rereading the last.  

My current thoughts have a lot to do with mattering.  I've come to realize that I ran away from Portland to escape the pain, but I ran towards Peace Corps in search for a life in which I matter.  I've travelled a lot in the world and I can check off hundreds of amazing places I've already seen.  But the more I have traveled in recent years, the more I started to feel that something was missing.  A deeper knowing.  An understanding.  A connection.  A connection to the people, their culture, their lives and their laughter.  For me, this is what really matters.  I gave so much to my marriage for a long time, and in the end my dreams and my opinions didn't matter.  It's also really hard to be the person left behind and still think that you matter.  I arrived in Ecuador needing to matter, but was assigned to live with two different families where, for the most part, I didn't really matter.  Also, the work of a Peace Corps volunteer is filled with days where what you do doesn't matter.  It can be very hard.  Then there are beautiful moments when you do matter.  Where everything matters.  It has become clear to me that my search for my current Ecuadorian family was a search to matter.  To connect.  To believe in love again.  To believe that I am worthy. 


When I returned from my two week holiday vacation with my friends, Jose was telling me about their family's New Year's festivities and he quietly said, "The only thing missing was our Gringita."
I matter.

"You become.  It takes a long time.  That's why it doesn't happen often to people who break easily, or have sharp edges, or who have to be carefully kept.  Generally, by the time you are Real, 
most of your hair has been loved off, and your eyes drop out and you get loose in the joints and very shabby.  But these things don't matter at all, because once you are Real you can't be ugly, 
except to people who don't understand.  

- The Velveteen Rabbit

So, yeah.  The quiet moments are still hard.  I’m tired of sadness and grief.  In the past 2 years, I’ve had two parents, a brother, my beloved aunt and life as I know it die.  I’ve cleaned my memories from two houses, sold almost everything I own and now live on $17 a day in a country where I struggle to communicate and understand their culture.  Is it fun?  Yes.  Is it hard?  Always.  Am I happy?  I think so.  I'm trying.  

I’ve decided that I shouldn’t return to the states until I’ve learned to speak Spanish comfortably, until I have healed more, and I have a better idea of what I want for my life.  
I might be in Ecuador awhile. 

Do not be dismayed by the brokenness of the world.

All things break.  And all things can be mended.

Not with time, as they say, but with intention.

So go.  Love intentionally, extravagantly, unconditionally.

The broken world waits in darkness for the light that is you.

 - L.R. Knost

Photo by Gretchen Vos

Feliz Año Nuevo!

New Year's Eve, or Año Viejo, is a big deal in Ecuador.  It is easily one of their biggest holidays and celebrated by all with much fanfare and many wacky traditions.  With my friends Gretchen and Juniper visiting from the States, I insisted on being in a bigger city 
to experience all that Ecuador had to offer.  

Riobamba, in the central highlands, is where we landed, and I can't imagine that Ecuadorians in any other city could have had more fun.  In case you want to visit me next year, here is a guide to Ecuadorian New Year's Traditions!

First, you have to have a monigote.  A monigote is essentially a doll, made of your old clothes and stuffed with paper.  The face you put on it can be a representation of yourself, or you can add a photo of someone you respect or admire.  You can also buy just the head or a mask
and stuff the body yourself.

If you don't want to make a monigote, there are thousands on every street corner to buy. 

They come in all styles and sizes; small, medium and large. 

All of these monigotes are burnt as effigies at midnight, sending the bad spirits of the previous year up in smoke.  Before burning, people might also place messages, or cavalas, inside their monigote.
The message could be a list of bad events or people who treated you poorly.
While the monigote is burning, it's also a tradition to jump through the flames and over the ashes
to spiritually cleanse your body as well. 

Gretchen found her likeness on the street!

Then, you need to get some red or yellow underwear.  I had read in numerous guidebooks that you wear the red underwear if you want love and passion in your new year, and you wear yellow underwear if you want wealth in your new year.  Late in the evening, I was chatting with this vendor and asked her what the colors meant.  She said she didn't know what the red was for, because everybody always wants the yellow, the wealth, for next year.  So, there's the unofficial poll of what most Ecuadorians wear.  What color do you think I was wearing?

Next, starting early in the day, you have to be ready for some crazy spontaneous parades 

with revelers filling the streets.  And the costumes?  The wackier, the better!

Notice the monigote tied to the front of the car... a common sight. 

The highlight of all New Year's Celebrations are the Locas Viudas.  These are young men who go all out dressing as women, or other hideous characters, and party throughout the day, well into the night.  A viuda is actually a widow, and historically, women who lost their husbands during the last year would take to the streets to publicly morn their husbands and beg for money.  In the last 20 years however, the tradition has really changed.  We were driving along the Pan American Highway for many hours on December 31st trying to get to Riobamba.  Starting well before noon, we spotted many groups of these modern "Crazy Viudas" in the street.  They essentially stand in the road, accost your vehicle and ask for spare change...  which becomes their beer money as the day carries on.  

I was in the back seat, and these two groups came upon both sides of the car.  I had the windows down to take pictures, and they reached in from both sides to tickle and harass me.  It was all in good playful fun!  We gave them some requisite change, and then they asked for more "for the Baby".  It was so hilarious.

These Viudas were so serious about getting people to stop, they chopped down some trees
and dragged then across the highway.  

As the night went on the Viudas got a little more risqué.  The common theme was exaggerated curves and coordinated dance moves..... think pole dancing around, and on top of, a car!  

Throughout the city, the Viudas staked out a corner with a huge monigote to burn, and a giant set of stereo speakers blaring their dance music.  Even the local fireman got in on the action with their personal monigote and their very own Viudas.

The streets of Riobamba were alive with thousands of people and so much laughter!

Other New Year's traditions include getting an empty suitcase and running around your house several times.  This is to ensure good luck in your travels throughout the coming year.  You also might fill your shoes with coins in hopes of receiving more wealth in the coming year. 

Of course, all Ecuadorian holidays include lots of blinking lights, fireworks, sparklers 

and thousands of people setting them off in the streets- all at the same time.  

Festivals are always a wild scene in Ecuador!

And last, but not least, you need 12 grapes.  Each grape will grant you a wish
during each of the 12 months of the coming year.  I forgot to eat my grapes.  

I'm not sure what more I could possibly have wished for.

At midnight, the burning of the monigotes commenced, along with a huge fireworks show throughout the streets of town.  I needed to take a long bus ride back to Ibarra on New Year's Day, so I left my hotel at 5:30 in the morning.  On the way to the bus station, I saw people still dancing around their burning monigote.  Like I said, Año Viejo is a very big holiday!

 It was so fun to share my first Ecuadorian New Years with my friends.  

Thanks to Gretchen and Juniper for coming to Ecuador!  

If you want a good party, come to Ecuador next year!

Feliz Año, Everyone!

Touring Ecuador with my First Visitors

Over the Christmas and New Year's Holiday, my long-time friend Gretchen and her partner Juniper came to visit Ecuador.  We spent 10 days touring the country together in their rental car.  Today's post is a travel log chronicling our adventures together.

Please note: this is a very long photo essay and the emailed version will certainly be cut short.  

Go to onthewingadventures.blogspot.com for the entire unabridged version.

First, we went to the cloud forest of San Miguel do los Bancos, an area NW of Quito, 

to enjoy the plants and birds of the area.  

I couldn't get enough of the hummingbirds and the toucans at the lodge's feeders, 

but my old I-Phone 6 can only capture so much!

We found so many wonderful treasures in this cloud forest at 3,600 feet elevation. 

This snail was as big as my fist!  

I enjoyed learning more about the plant families and looking at them through Gretchen's hand lens.  

Then, we spent a little time watching the butterflies of Mindo...

And being silly at the Equator!

Next, we flew to Cuenca and enjoyed some of the Christmas festivities there (see previous post).  

On Christmas Day, we had a wonderful jaunt around the lakes, hills and 

Polylepis Forest of Cajas National Park.  

This is what it looks like when you go hiking with a Botanist!

Where's Gretchen?  She was in heaven!

After Cuenca, we headed south.  This was my first time in the southern part of Ecuador and I was completely in awe of its green rolling hills, deep canyons and rushing rivers.  Much of our trip centered around exploring the east and west sides of Podocarpus National Park.  This park covers 560 square miles near the Peru border, and ranges in elevation from 2,300 feet to over 12,000 feet.  

It's dense forest and perpetual fog added to its beauty.

 Podocarpus National Park is located in a triangle south of Loja and Zamora.  Remember, I live in the north central city of Ibarra, so it was a great treat for me to travel so far from home. 

Sitting on the porch in Zamora overlooking Podocarpus with our morning cup of tea. 

High up in these trees, we spotted the nests
of the Oropendula birds. 

In Podocarpus, you have to look up, down and all around.  Life grows on life in all directions. 

This is a Yamila Tree- harvested to near extinction for its wood.

Ferns, Orchids, Bromelias, Oh My!

           In many trees and along cut banks, we found signs of ants and termites making their home. 

Water, Water, Everywhere!

At another birding lodge, we spotted some Euphonias and Blue-Green Tanagers, 

a Blue-Gray Tanager and more hummingbirds!

Here, Juniper is looking through a bird blind at the rare Tinamou in the trail. 

A coati was scavenging the bananas from the bird feeders.

This tarantula also made his presence known. 

I took a cultural tour of Zamora and learned a little about the production of sugar cane.

This is sugar cane growing with bananas.  It perpetually grows, is cut periodically, and is smashed through a mill.  The extracted sugar juice is then cooked down in large troughs over a wood fire.  

After it reaches desired consistency, it is cooled in small molds to be sold as panela or hard sugar.  

It can also me pulverized into a granular sugar or processed into white sugar. 

Finally, it is drank as a refreshing juice, or fermented into a liquor. 

On the west side of Podocarpus National Park, we climbed to a high and chilly elevation to see an entirely different botanical ecosystem and the beautiful valleys below. 

After spending the bulk of our time absorbing Podocarpus, we only had a couple days to drive north. We spent an afternoon in the lovely city of Loja. 

We also enjoyed the central square and an animal market in the 

primarily Indigenous community of Saraguro.

Then we visited Azogues and learned about the traditional dying and weaving of 

Ikat textiles in Gualaceo.

And a lunch stop in my favorite cliff-side village of Alausí.

By this time, it was December 31st.... and we had a whole new adventure waiting for us on New Year's Eve.  Stay tuned for my next post detailing all the crazy year-end traditions in Ecuador.